Comment by Triphibian
Comment by Triphibian 2 days ago
My main advice would be to make NONE of this about you. Be genuinely curious about others. Really listen to them. Look in their eyes when they are talking to you and when you are talking to them. Completely put the notion of you needing or lacking friends in the backseat and put an interest and genuine caring about the lives of random people you meet in the front.
You can't go into this with the goal of gaining something. Go in with the goal of giving of yourself -- your time, attention and interest.
Do the reps on this and you will become a person people want to be around.
And you need to be genuine.
Find whatever works for you to be genuinely interested.
People know if you're faking attention, or if you're unnaturally giving.
It's a tricky balance.
We slowly learn by practicing...
I've learnt over time to be more generous (tried to stop keeping a mental record of debts, and try to avoid giving obligations to anyone), and to be less judgemental (acceptance is mostly good).