Comment by robocat

And you need to be genuine.

Find whatever works for you to be genuinely interested.

People know if you're faking attention, or if you're unnaturally giving.

It's a tricky balance.

We slowly learn by practicing...

I've learnt over time to be more generous (tried to stop keeping a mental record of debts, and try to avoid giving obligations to anyone), and to be less judgemental (acceptance is mostly good).