Comment by firefax

Agreed. Over the years I've touched base with folks who helped me out at crucial times and they didn't even remember the incident. Like one time when I was not offered a job after an internship, this senior guy stepped in and made sure they gave me an offer. I thanked him 20 years later for helping me get my start. He just said, "Really? I don't recall that, but glad I could help." So paying it forward is probably the best strategy.

I had the pleasure of meeting Dan in person a few times up here in the Bay Area. He was incredibly approachable and always generous with his time. If he sensed your curiosity, he’d give you his full, undivided attention.

Just weeks before he passed, we were trading long Twitter DMs late into the evening—deep, technical conversations spanning topics that were hard to get good information on elsewhere.

After his passing, as I began sharing these stories, I found that so many others had experienced the exact same generosity from him. He had a remarkable way of making people feel seen and supported.

My personal rule: Always try and help people whenever the opportunity arrises (especially people you don't know). It doesn't matter how small the assistance or if you will see this person again. You might be surprised at how it feels and the knock on effects that occur. Once I started looking for opportunities I found them everywhere.

Treating people shitty has no reward, takes zero effort and minimal intelligence.

Dan ran up to our table at a con excited to show us all the ssh tricks he was currently into at the time. His excitement and curiosity was contagious. We’d connect at events over the years and he’d always have something interesting to show off. Jet airplane explosion videos ran through MRI software? Check. AR app for the colorblind? Check. Keep DNS safe? Check. Dan was a hacker’s hacker. He was always lifting others up, paying it forward. It’s your duty to do the same. Stay human.

"and then disappear into the night like some kind of helpful spirit of the hacker night."

This is awesome. One interaction like this can change the entire vibe of a group's weekend. Good on you.

I can't speak for those that helped the OP, but I take joy in helping strangers of all sorts.

The only payback would be in passing it on. The act is an attempt to build a culture of openness and collaboration. It is only partially about helping the person that needs it and more about creating a gift to future us.

I want to second this.

The big lesson is recognizing how far a little help goes.

Often it's not much for the person who gave you help, but the result cascades. Nobody is completely self made. We do a lot of work to push ourselves forward but it still relies on other people.

So as you grow, take a chance on others. Don't just look at who they are but who they want to become. The world is full of gates that are extremely difficult to pass through but trivial to hold open for others. It can be making introductions, passing along a resume, or just taking the time to say hi and be friendly.

Recognize that the world is noisy and that these little things help us navigate. We solve big problems by breaking them down into many little problems, so it should be easy to understand how solving little problems makes progress towards solving big ones. Even if you don't know what that big problem is. Just try to make the world a better place. Recognize your struggles and when you can, help others to not face the same issues. You can't solve everything and you won't be perfect, but as you've recognized, a little can go a long way. So do that.

People aren't born wizards. We all start as noobs. Don't forget the journey

"keep the gates open that were not gatekept for you" - really well said re: life philosophy re: living a life of integrity.

I had a similar experience at PET in Ottawa around 2007. I felt so out of place listening to so many interesting talks and seeing all these people that I "knew" from mailing lists and IRC channels. Len Sassaman was really kind to me and included in me in hallway conversations. It was so wild I couldn't get over that rabbi was taking the time to explain things to me and listen to my questions. He definitely was not extending some grand charitable gesture, it was just genuine kindness.

I know I will never have that kind of impact on someone but I hope I have / can continue to pay rabbi back by practicing that level of kindness and consideration to others.

I think you've done both beautifully.

Carried on the tradition, and credited the "man", and potentially spawned others to do the same. I think that would be have been biggest thank you Dan Kaminsky could have received.

I didn't know Dan personally, but everyone I know who knew him said Dan was good people. I wish I'd gotten to know him.

Piling-on your story: I'd love to know who the guy was I hung out with at Defcon 3. My friends' flights were earlier than mine and I ended up alone in Las Vegas, newly-turned 18 y/o and w/ very little travel experience outside of Ohio.

I ended up hanging out talking with a Unix hacker in his mid-late 20s who struck up a conversation w/ me on the con floor. We hung out the rest of Sunday until my flight left. It made what otherwise would have been a lonely and stressful day a lot of fun.

He gave me an email address to hit him up after the con. It turned out to be fake. I've never been able to find any references to his "name", the domain name on the email, etc. I don't know if he gave me the fake address because of the stigma of a "hacker con"(being worried about real identities, etc). I hope it wasn't because he just didn't want to hear from me again (albeit I do recognize I was pretty insufferable at that age).

If you remember hanging out w/ a long-haired kid on the last Saturday of Defcon 3 I'd love to touch base. (My God... that will be 30 years ago in a couple months.)

Man, I was not looking to get suddenly reminded of how much I miss him. I just finally this year got around to throwing out his luggage and clothes stashed here.

Is this what getting old feels like? Seemed it never happened now it is a regular occurrence. Just as life is getting really good, my friends have started dying off.

That was a great read!

Thanks for sharing, and for your example.

It really all comes down to example.

Monkey see, monkey do.

I never met Dan K., but, from everything I've heard, he was real mensch.

I agree with “fairfax” when he says to focus on helping others.

I would add something to that advice. I would tell you to go back to the people that helped you, and thank them. Tell them what they did, and why it helped you.

That may prove both cathartic and/or encouraging to those who helped you, and spur them on to continue helping others.

I say this because I was a foster child. I aged out of the system. In general, the experience was terrible, but there were a couple families who made a significant impact in my life by things they said and taught.

10 years later, when some of that began to take root in my life, and have a real impact, I went back and thanked them. It was a VERY good thing.

I would say when you have the opportunity, you should do the same.

I still regret not getting those glowing swords or plastic swords that made swoosh sounds.

This is really excellent advice.

And thus culture is borne. #passiton

The ninja party was not even great.

Such a cool post. Also gave me a fresh perspective on DEF CON.