Comment by TeMPOraL 2 days ago
But that's what I mean. I'm pretty much clinically incapable of intentionally forming and maintaining habits. And I have a sinking feeling that it's something you either win or lose at in the genetic lottery at time of conception, or at best something you can develop in early life. That's what I meant by "being past my pre-training phase and being stuck with poor prompt adherence".
I can relate. It's definitely possible, but you have to really want it, and it takes a lot of work.
You need cybernetics (as in the feedback loop, the habit that monitors the process of adding habits). Meditate and/or journal. Therapy is also great. There are tracking apps that may help. Some folks really like habitica/habit rpg.
You also need operant conditioning: you need a stimulus/trigger, and you need a reward. Could be as simple as letting yourself have a piece of candy.
Anything that enhances neuroplasticity helps: exercise, learning, eat/sleep right, novelty, adhd meds if that's something you need, psychedelics can help if used carefully.
I'm hardly any good at it myself but it's been some progress.
Right. I know about all these things (but thanks for listing them!) as I've been struggling with it for nearly two decades, with little progress to show.
I keep gravitating to the term, "prompt adherence", because it feels like it describes the root meta-problem I have: I can set up a system, but I can't seem to get myself to follow it for more than a few days - including especially a system to set up and maintain systems. I feel that if I could crack that, set up this "habit that monitors the process of adding habits" and actually stick to it long-term, I could brute-force my way out of every other problem.
Alas.
If it's any help, one of the statements that stuck with me the most about "doing the thing" is from Amy Hoy:
> You know perfectly well how to achieve things without motivation.[1]
I'll also note that I'm a firm believer in removing the mental load of fake desires: If you think you want the result, but you don't actually want to do the process to get to the result, you should free yourself and stop assuming you want the result at all. Forcing that separation frees up energy and mental space for moving towards the few things you want enough.
1: https://stackingthebricks.com/how-do-you-stay-motivated-when...
For what it’s worth, I’ve fallen into the trap of building an “ideal” system that I don’t use. Whether that’s a personal knowledge db , automations for tracking habits, etc.
The thing I’ve learned is for a new habit, it should have really really minimal maintenance and minimal new skill sets above the actual habit. Start with pen and paper, and make small optimizations over time. Only once you have engrained the habit of doing the thing, should you worry about optimizing it
I've felt this way all my life. I was recently tested/diagnosed in mid-life with ADHD. It explains so much of my life experience so far.
> I keep gravitating to the term, "prompt adherence", because it feels like it describes the root meta-problem I have: I can set up a system, but I can't seem to get myself to follow it for more than a few days - including especially a system to set up and maintain systems. I feel that if I could crack that, set up this "habit that monitors the process of adding habits" and actually stick to it long-term, I could brute-force my way out of every other problem.
Executive function.
I thought the same thing about myself until I read Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg. Changed my mental model for what habits really are and how to engineer habitual change. I immediately started flossing and haven't quit in the three years since reading. It's very worth reading because there are concrete, research backed frameworks for rewiring habits.
I used to be like you but a couple of years ago something clicked and I was able to build a bunch of extremely life changing habits - it took a long while but looking back I'm like a different person. I couldn't really say what led to this change though, it wasn't like this "one weird trick" or something. That being said I think "Tao of Puh" is a great self-help book