Comment by tim-tday

This isn’t what you asked but I would remove all social media from your phone. Nothing makes you lonelier than social media. Facebook and instagram should be the first to go. TikTok as well. Delete them and watch if you start to feel better.

As for the other. Most friends I’ve ever met went like this: meet at an event relating to a shared interest (first you have to go to things, next you have to talk to people): find a person I genuinely like and respect, talk to them, do something together (study, eat, coffee), listen more than you talk, try to be as good a friend to them as possible.

And I’m easy. Anyone wants to be my friend and I’ll be theirs. (So long as they treat me as a friend —don’t get me started about people who claim to be friends but who don’t treat me like a friend). This leads me to having some really weird friends. This also leads me to having friends who always treat me right.

I’m an introvert so I tend to prioritize small numbers of deep connections over many shallow friendships. Everyplace I go I find the person I like best and I try to get to know them. I talk to them, listen, hear what they’re about, engage with things they find interesting.

At 19 you’ve never had a friend? I honestly don’t believe it. I suspect you’re experiencing a depressive episode that is clouding your memory. Every child has had a friend. In grade school or middle school. Call your mother and ask her (I’m serious). I honestly think you’re not remembering clearly. It happens, I don’t know how to fix it, but looking for it might’ve a start. (If you haven’t I’d start looking for something you’re doing that drives people away. But I honestly don’t think you could be doing something without knowing it)

Join clubs for things you find interesting. Get a job doing things you find interesting. Do favors for people, ask favors of people. Look for friendships in unlikely places. I once became friends with a professor who I did computer work for. We just got along. He invited me over for dinner with him and his wife. I was on his Christmas list (he made mix cds for people, I still have two he made me)