Comment by thomassmith65
Comment by thomassmith65 2 days ago
The standard way to form a friendship is to be around someone regularly with whom you share a common goal.
This happens in some school environments (eg: long-term group projects), many work environments, team sports, certain vacation environments, etc.
Join a language class, or a sports club, or find employment somewhere, or go on a hostel vacation.
Make sure it's something you want to do for its own sake - enough so that you're not obsessing over befriending people.
+1e9, should be the top answer IMO. Activities create a group of people with a common interest, meeting regularly. You have a ready supply of people with something in common, you meet them regularly enough to create a bond, and easy ways to engage with them outside of class ("hey people who attend activity X, shall we do some activity X outside of classes?").
If you're not very sporty, less sporty things include:
- photography
- dancing classes (esp if you're a man, IME they are usually in short supply for classes)
- hiking / walking groups
- book clubs / chess / bridge
- quirky sports like roller skating
Otherwise, what other say. Other people like being listened to (and their interlocutor remembering what you said to them), that's an accessible trick to bond with people. And finally, it sounds like you don't struggle to build acquaintances - so maybe the tricky bit is "converting" them into friendships.
I'd say, in case it makes you feel better, that this is very much the common experience, to varying degrees, and the cult of people having lots and lots of friends is, for most, commercial propaganda.