Comment by rootsudo
You need to lead, talk, make friends and be outside your comfort zone. You need to make an effort.
You need to lead, talk, make friends and be outside your comfort zone. You need to make an effort.
I’d like to think I do make an effort in a way, I try to go to the events that are being held at school, I’ve joined a few clubs and I talk to some of the people there. But it doesn’t go anywhere from there. But I will admit I’m socially anxious and keep to myself, but when I see an opportunity to crack a joke I do. But still it leads no where, I’m just that funny quirky kid who made a joke at the holiday festival. I’m still an irrelevant person nobody cares about, and even if I get a few numbers, I end up having ti hold the entire “friendship” on my back until I’m tired and then it ends.
You need to push it, you can not stop, you need to make it a simple repeat loop otherwise there is no escape. Once you establish friends, act out of your comfort zone, it can become stable and your new daily routine. It's literally exposure therapy, the exposure here is to be secure in yourself and go out.
Everyone has this issue, some people have it worse. I would give anything to be normal in this regard, I've succeeded but I have a stutter which is horrible-- so imagine being able to just talk normally and go out in the world!
That last line, thats just negtative self talk. Stop that.
This 1000%! Two of the most important relationships I've made (my wife, and a boss who hired me, and later became one of my dearest friends) arose when I decided to act completely differently in the moment than I habitually would. In my wife's case, this meant immediately introducing myself to a woman I found attractive, in the other when I faced a financial crunch and resolved to apply for better-paying work even if I wasn't totally qualified instead of losing hope and going on a bender.