Comment by neuralkoi

Comment by neuralkoi 2 days ago

4 replies

Start with the low hanging fruit: your family.

There was a period when I put space between myself and my main friends which resulted in loneliness, but I found this created a new space to connect with my siblings who were really interesting and had grown in ways I hadn't noticed.

Also, as Charlie Munger always said: "Invert! Invert! Invert!". Try doing the opposite of what you normally do. This requires of course paying attention to what you normally do (or don't do). Instead of waiting for others to reach out to you, for example, you might instead approach them.

Be okay with the fear of rejection. When we are kids we make friends so easily because we haven’t yet learned to protect ourselves from rejection.

An interesting exercise I had to do recently as part of a teambuilding exercise: offer a hug to 5 random strangers. I promise this will teach you something about yourself, and about others.

acheong08 2 days ago

> Start with the low hanging fruit: your family.

Not always a good recommendation. A huge reason I was isolated before university was because of excessive control from my family. I'd personally say sports or other common outdoor activities like hiking are a great way to meet people. No strings attached and much more natural than randomly hugging strangers.

sieep 2 days ago

Im interested to learn more about this team building exercise. What do you mean by hug random strangers? Like on the street? I've never heard of such an exercise before.

  • neuralkoi 2 days ago

    This exercise was part of a 3-day weekend team-building workshop which was part of a voluntary work thing.

    This particular exercise was assigned as "homework" by the coaching staff: "You will give a hug to a minimum of 5 people who you don't know before returning to tomorrow's session (no children)".

    I think the goal was to 1) Step outside your comfort zone 2) Learn to take rejection less personally 3) Learn something about trust

    I did my "homework" by going to Chipotle (some people put up a sign at the hotel lobby with the text "free hugs") and asking the cash register attendant and people inside. I remember going to this older lady who seemed like she had just gotten off a looong shift. She looked up and gave me the warmest smile and said "oh this is excellent! Is this part of church or something?" I got the biggest hug ever and it felt amazing. I had a similar experience with the other four hugs.

    • sieep a day ago

      Fascinating. I can see the usefulness in that. It seems a little bizarre to me without the context so thank you for clarifying.