Comment by stuffn
> Lairmore said he "could feel it through his ballistic vest" and it "exploded all over" him after the Subway stack hit him. He said he "could smell the onions and mustard" on his uniform, and even had an onion string hanging by his police radio later that night. The fast-food mustard, he said, stained his shirt.
The first test of a hypersonic subway apparently.
On one hand, yes, it's probably simple battery given how loose the definition is. But the lengths at which this guy goes into how traumatized he is by a subway sandwich, juxtaposed by the intimidating posture border patrol is trying to project, is absolute comedy gold.
> Dunn's attorneys later pressed Lairmore on two gag gifts that his coworkers bought him after the incident, including a plush submarine sandwich and a "felony footlong" patch that Lairmore said he put on his lunchbox.
His own buddies were clowning on him.
> In a post on X announcing Dunn's firing, Attorney General Pam Bondi called Dunn "an example of the Deep State we have been up against."
The "deep state" is low-level paralegals throwing sandwiches.