Comment by StopDisinfo910
Comment by StopDisinfo910 a day ago
It’s impressive to me how many people mistake relationships for a choice issue when it’s entirely a building in common thing. Obviously, having a shared vision or the ability to built one initially matter but the rest is very much work.
At this point in my life, I’m fairly convinced that some people would be able to build a successful relationship with nearly anyone while other are doomed to fail even with the "perfect" person.
The problem of dating is not so much dating. It’s expectations which are totally unaligned with the reality of life.
See also "taxicab theory".
I wish I could upvote you more.
Speaking from experience gained the hard way, I thing compatibility matters a lot. But it's hard to measure and probably includes a lot of physical stuff like chemistry that can't happen online.
But I also think what you're pointing to is critical. People aren't static consumable objects, and what you are willing to do for a relationship with someone matters as much as anything.