Comment by CuriouslyC

Comment by CuriouslyC a day ago

Dating apps 100% suck. I'm a good looking guy and I put the effort into getting great pictures and optimizing my profile to the point I was able to get dates 5+ nights a week and date 2-3 new women a week, and while it was validating, the quality of dates was significantly worse than what I used to get from just approaching women in places like bookstores, after yoga classes, etc when that wasn't as culturally abnormal.

Ironically I met my wife while I was on a date with another woman. We had a much better organic connection, and she was way hotter than almost all the girls on the apps.

throwaway2037 a day ago

    > I was able to get dates 5+ nights a week and date 2-3 new women a week

For the record, you are probably well into the top 20% of attractive men on the apps. You should know that your experience is very much unlike the average man. The average normie on dating apps (5/10 in looks) gets, quite literally, zero matches, or matches only from scammers/bots/OnlyFans. There are numerous long-form YouTube videos on the topic with first hand experience.

    > the quality of dates was significantly worse than what I used to get from just approaching women in places like

This is an interesting comment. Can you share one or two specific things that come to mind? I can offer one from my personal experience: When you approach someone in public (get their number, etc.), then later meet them for lunch/drinks/dinner, their enthusiasm and effort is much higher than people I meet on the apps.

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CuriouslyC 21 hours ago

That's a big part of it. When I met women in person they could get my vibe and know 100% what was on offer, so if they decided they were interested they were in it. I think the uncertainty of meeting someone new tends to linger for a while even if a date goes well, so it creates some dissonance.
There's also just the quality aspect. Hot high value women don't need the apps to get a good suitor, and if they're on the apps even tall successful good looking men face rough odds, since these women can skim the cream of the cream on platforms and usually are looking for the best sugar daddy. In person you can be charming, kind and a good conversationalist, and as long as you meet a woman's bar (which I pretty much always did) you can shortcut the line because you're REAL and here NOW. A bird in the hand an all that...

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adaml_623 a day ago

This anecdote does not really feel like an argument that dating apps suck. Sounds like you were using them wrong somehow

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rTX5CMRXIfFG a day ago

I mean, that’s not really an informed skepticism is it? Respectfully, you’d have an idea of what the commenter means if you’re attractive.
In my own experience I quite agree. When you have more than a hundred matches, it just sucks, because the fact that you have that many matches means you’ve cast your net too wide. You swiped right solely on the basis of looks but the good dates are good because other factors like personality and similarity in interests and sense of humor turn out to actually matter. Those are things best gauged via face-to-face interaction.

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