Comment by jbrains

First, that sounds hard. I'm happy that you're asking for help and I hope you find the help you need.

Next, you'll probably get a bunch of advice about leaving immediately, how you don't have to put up with this nonsense, and so on. I consider this advice well-meaning, but it might not take into account the complicated web of constraints that you face, so I recommend interpreting "You should get out there now!" as something more like a supportive "You don't deserve to live like this!" True, but not necessarily enough on its own to formulate a plan to address your quandary.

In response to your final paragraph especially, it sounds like you need to have a real, frank conversation with someone who can help you navigate this situation. One in which you can get into the complex details of the situation and balance all your competing needs and desires. I say this because, sadly, you will not be able to solve this problem by running away from it, because it will find you again and you'll be even more tired and even less interested in dealing with it. You probably need more than "Get out and take your people with you".

If you'd like to try to have this conversation, then I think I can help. You can start with my handle here, search the web, find out more about me (to judge for yourself whether I might be able to help you or I'm full of shit), and then contact me. If you think we might click, then ask me for help. Ignore anything that you see along the way that looks like a price.

Meantime, any advice I can offer will sound like a platitude, so I won't bother. The reality of the situation is much more complex than that. Instead, think about what you'd like to have happen and maybe we can figure out how to make it happen.

Peace.