Comment by pflenker 3 days ago
You could express your wishes about how you would like to be treated in advance, while you are still clear in the head. That’s already possible for other situations, like when you are braindead and entirely dependent on machines to keep you alive, with no chance of recovery.
Even if you express this in a wish, but you probably don’t remember it when you are deep into this, how does it get executed? I’m curious about this, so does the court overrule the current you with the previous you?
I get it’s easy with other diseases such as cancer, though.
> You could express your wishes about how you would like to be treated in advance, while you are still clear in the head.
You can't express in advance that you want to have assisted suicide.
Your former self might express wishes, but what if your later self doesn't feel like this anymore? In a way, we can all get the same feeling when doing another round of "lose weight this year" new year's resolutions just to realize a couple weeks later that the former self wasn't that trustworthy to begin with (or was it the other way around, the future self can't be trusted?)
Point is: you can wish for whatever you want, but dementia is probably a tough case and it shifts your priorities, making everything before obsolete and I'm not sure that people beginning to suffer from dementia ever find the right point in time to end life early.
The same argument would apply to any other kind of will or testament. You need to update it frequently. It’s not uncommon for people to change their mind quite late, and (at least in Germany) that’s perfectly possible even until late. If people dispute this later change of mind a judge needs to get involved, and being married to one I can tell you that they treat each case differently and with the appropriate care.
Arguably the best qualified person to decide what to do with Future You is Present You.
Uh, new years resolutions are not exactly what I would call the ideal metaphor for assisted suicide.
Plenty of people here who reacted negatively to OP's suggestion seem to not have had to deal with a loved one who dealt with Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia. It's not hard like taking care of a toddler is hard. It's hard like, "this is not the same person I know for my whole life, they don't recognize me, they say and do mean things to me and their grand-kids and neighbors all the time, and require 24x7 supervision to not hurt themselves or break everything in the room."
Oh, and remember that in the US, all nursing homes for this kind of thing are for-profit companies backed by venture capital, meaning they are expensive as hell. Take your current middle-class apartment, shrink the size to just a bedroom (that you now have to share with someone else), and then quadruple the rent. Just a few years of that can decimate the life savings of the average retiree and/or their children's.
I speak with some authority here because all of this happened to my father. He was "alive" in the last few years of his life, but not what anyone would call "living." I absolutely do not want that to happen to me. If it were legal in the US, I would absolutely opt for an assisted suicide plan for myself.
There are ways to handle it that avoid all the "whatabouts" that you and others have already brought up. One rough draft of an example: 1) Have a lawyer write up a kind of will expressing my wishes. 2) Get three unbiased negative diagnoses to show I am of sound mind prior to signing the will. 3) Go in for regular testing (every year, maybe two). After each negative diagnosis, add another (witnessed and/or notarized) signature to the will. The will is not valid if testing or a signature is missed. 3) If there is ever a positive diagnosis, it must be confirmed by two other clinics. 4) If three years pass with doctors and clinical tests confirming increasing dementia symptoms along the way, the assisted suicide clause is invoked and I get to pass peacefully surrounded by loved ones instead of being a stressful burden on them for years or decades to come.
Yes, there are details and unintended consequences that neither me nor anyone else can see ahead of time. Like everything else, they are dealt with as they come up. No, you won't convince me that your favorite corner case means the entire idea is invalid.
> Plenty of people here who reacted negatively to OP's suggestion seem to not have had to deal with a loved one who dealt with Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia. It's not hard like taking care of a toddler is hard. It's hard like, "this is not the same person I know for my whole life, they don't recognize me, they say and do mean things to me and their grand-kids and neighbors all the time, and require 24x7 supervision to not hurt themselves or break everything in the room."
This is exactly it. It's like dealing with a curmudgeonly toddler with extreme agency and no self-awareness. The rest of your comment is so spot on or at least matches my experience. I'm sorry you had to go through it but you genuinely seem to have become stronger from it and I'm grateful you could share your experience with us.
Having a living will is a great idea in general. My dad got a brain tumor and had no documentation on what he wanted do with his estate, in the event he became vegetative, etc. By the time he realized he needed one, it was too late for "sound mind judgement" and my mom had to go through this ridiculous legal process to ensure she held on to his assets and whatnot while she was directly caring for a dying man.
Save your loved ones some grief, create a living will with a trusted lawyer, update it about once a year. It's worth it. There are so many insane snafus one can get into with estranged family members, the state/gov't, medical institutions, etc that make the situation even more difficult and stressful to deal with. Don't expect anyone coming out of the woodwork to act according to honor. They are vultures and know no such kindness.