Comment by basisword 3 days ago
An interesting choice. It's fascinating that even for very ill or injured people the will to survive is so strong - I wonder if at a certain age this instinct diminishes making a choice like his easier?
My grandparents stuck around too long, so I have the opposite fear of burdening my descendants with having to (if not legally, then via social pressure) spend too much time, money, and energy caring for me.
I think it would be valuable to get your parents opinion on whether the burden was worth it or not. Or, unfortunately, to see if your opinion changes if you have to bear the burden of your parents in the future. It's easy to assume the burden isn't worth it when we have a bit more distance (e.g. grandparents) but I think people are more open to it than we realise - even if it comes with immense amounts of stress. Saying that I think it varies person to person. Often in families you have people who are willing to carry the burden and others who aren't and that brings even more stress and disagreement to the situation.
I had real time feedback from my mom (the daughter in law) while growing up. I would never ask or want my wife to live the quality of life my mom did for her parents’ in law.
And I don’t want that for my kids, or even from the rest of society.
There’s a solution to this you can start on right now: structure your life and experiences such that you become an awesome grandparent with hilarious stories, humility and appeal to your grandchildren.
I probably won’t ever meet my grandchildren if there are any, because I am over fifty and single; I probably will never be a parent. So I will have to go a lot sooner if I am not to be a burden on society. But if you think you are going to be a grandparent, you can work on being an irreplaceable and useful one.
I am referring to being so old that you are dependent on others everyday such that the caregivers cannot go on vacation. One set of my grandparents both lived to 100, and they had a 15 year age gap, so that was the first 30 years of my life that my parents sacrificed time with their kids, professional life, and personal life.
Very few people are independent after age 80, and a miniscule amount after 90.
Maybe at a certain age other instincts strengthen making a choice like this easier? We all have to come to terms. And if you are older than 70 then it is just a fact that every day can be your last without any accident or noteworthy medical complication. And the guy has been probably thinking about this fast and slow for at least two decades then.
> I wonder if at a certain age this instinct diminishes making a choice like his easier?
It's less likely to be "a certain age" and more surrounding factors: if most of your friends have passed and you don't have much chance to do things that interest you because you could pass at any moment yourself there comes a point where life has limited worth.
Essentially, hope runs out, and when it's run out entirely you either wait for death, or ... don't wait.
> It's fascinating that even for very ill or injured people the will to survive is so strong
Sometimes. Chronic illnesses are a massive contributing factor to suicide rates for instance: https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanepe/article/PIIS2666-7...