Comment by webprofusion 2 days ago
I'll be honest, it feels a bit whiney. Many of us in tech are somewhere on the spectrum, but owning your problems is the first step to handling them and this doesn't feel like that, it feels more like blaming the diagnosis.
When you have a condition that alters behavior I think it's pretty fair to blame that condition for said behavior changes/differences. People are so weird about mental disorders in a way they would never be about physical disorders.
Own your chronic fatigue and deal with it, quit blaming it for your tiredness!
Here's my genuine and honest question: What does "owning your chronic fatigue" look like in practice?
Having the knowledge about how your own mind and body work is essential when it comes to dealing with the challenges you are presented with. Having a diagnosis of some kind doesn't let you off the hook. But it is comforting to know that it isn't your fault. You aren't a lesser person because of it - you are just going through the game of life on a different level of difficulty than you expected, and a different level of difficulty than someone without that same challenge.
It would be exactly the same thing people expect from people with mental disorders. You must manage your disorder in such a manner that to the outside world it appears as though you don't have it. Which is totally not an unreasonable ask and definitely not exhausting and untenable to have to fight against your own body for 16 hours a day.
You can't blame your disorder so no turning down plans because you don't have the energy today—better take another dose of stimulants and power through! And don't you dare ask for or expect any kind of accommodation because that's just using your diagnosis as an excuse to be lazy.
This is one of the most under-discussed hardships about the reality of living with nearly invisible disabilities. The expectation that it remain invisible at all times is hard to live with.
If you care about people who have disabilities, give them grace when the facade slips.
Lol. They made a game, and shared it publicly. How much more can they own it?
I am guessing your definition of “owning” involves not talking about your problems ever. I don’t think that’s healthy, but you can find out for yourself.
"blaming external factors for your situation inherently diminishes your sense of your own power, even when external factors are actually to blame" - some redditor
i wonder how a slave would react to the idea of autistic burnout ... isn't 'masking' just a way of shifting blame by juvenilizing impulse control ?
I cannot understand this sentence: " isn't 'masking' just a way of shifting blame by juvenilizing impulse control ?"
shifting the blame of what? what is being juvenilized? Impulse control? How does masking make or keep young or youthful; or arrest the development of Impulse control?
The whole point of masking is to try to hide things that others would find socially uncomfortable or inappropriate for the context. Masking is the continuous effort you pour in to maintaining decorum and professionalism. And I have worked for many bosses, managers, and clients who have utterly failed at both on several occasions, but nobody would call their behavior some sort of failure in impulse control. That would only happen for people with less authority and influence.
> a bit whiney
> owning your problems
What do you mean? That makes me think about how people react to others having depression symptoms, saying that they should "just" get better... The best course of action is to ask for help.