Comment by gridspy

Comment by gridspy 2 days ago

8 replies

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It's harder than you think.

- Go into a bright, commercial space

- All the packets are "shouting" at you with colorful labels

- There is noise of shoppers, a PA system, canned music and/or advertising

- Navigate lots of social interactions with other shoppers around navigating asiles, manouvering carts, who picks what

- Manage a shopping list and find a variety of goods

- Go to the check-out asile. Hopefully you can avoid interacting with a human

- Manage packing bags and paying

- Hopefully noone talks to you as you leave

encrypted_bird a day ago

_Thank_ you. I'm seeing a LOT of people in this thread who do not understand autism at _all_ and yet claim it's really not much different than neurotypical people's experience.

"Why should x situation be like y difficulty? I don't understand."

"No, you _don't_ understand, because you're not autistic. Which isn't really an insult but it is the case. So why you gotta brush off our struggles like you do get it."

Being autistic is exhausting on a _whole different level_. It is NOT comparable to neurotypicals' experiences except superficially.

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gusgus01 a day ago

For anyone who feels this way about the grocery store, I'd highly recommend curbside pickup or online ordering. Some stores are getting rid of it, but plenty still offer it. If you live in a large enough city, grocery delivery can also pretty competitive in pricing if you're willing to negotiate on brands.

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Cthulhu_ a day ago

And if you have the luxury of time / a flexible schedule, figure out when it's quietest. Some shops in the UK are (or used to be) open 24/7, small hours shopping is where it's at.

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Dylan16807 a day ago

You can fix bright and loud.

Shouldn't a list be a positive here?

What's bad about "packing bags and paying", with "paying" being separate from human interaction? I'm genuinely curious.

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Timon3 a day ago

> You can fix bright and loud.
Not in socially acceptable ways - people look at you strangely when you have sunglasses on indoors, and when I'm wearing headphones people usually gesture for me to take them off when they want to talk. It's even worse to have the loud noise suddenly crashing in while I have to talk to the cashier - better to have gotten used to it before.
> Shouldn't a list be a positive here?
In some ways yes, but it also brings new problems. What if a specific product isn't in stock? It's also pressure to really get everything - I sometimes can't get everything on my list because it stresses me out enough that I'd rather order some stuff.
> What's bad about "packing bags and paying", with "paying" being separate from human interaction?
Packing bags isn't an issue for me, but paying takes enough concentration that I often stumble over my words, e.g. by combining two colloquial responses. It's always embarrassing and makes the next times I go shopping even more stressful.

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- iteria 19 hours ago
  
  This feels like anxiety more so than anything. I literally walk around everywhere with sunglasses and headphones. I'm not ASD just sound and light sensitive do to physical damage. Not a single person has bothered me about this even during conversation. I chat with big ass cans on my ears. I go to stores at times where people aren't there and favor pick up if I can't do that. It's not that I can't interact. I just get really irritated by crowds and why do that to myself if I don't have to? I do self check out when possible because it is just faster and I always get irritated by how they pack things.
  Stumbling over your words? Oh well. Who cares. It's a cashier. I did this all summer in a foreign country. Toddler talked my way through it and honestly with everyone. It's not exactly the same, but the pressure is. It's incorrect speech with a person you'll never see again or who won't remember you. Who cares?
  Like this all feels like anxiety and lack of problem solving. And I'm not sure I even forgive it because my kid has autism and anxiety and she has solutions for these problems. She's not perfect, but she seems to be carrying on better than what you're portraying here. I also know several autistic people where what you're talking about is just not a thing. I get if you know an autistic person yoy know that autistic person, but they are coming up with solutions that allow them to be without a higher level of stress than anyone else.
  
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  gridspy 15 hours ago
  
  > This feels like anxiety more so than anything.
  When things are hard and you anticipate that you're going to struggle, it's perfectly natural that you're going to develop an anxiety response to those things. It's possible that you will describe the experience through the lens of anxiety even if there is more going on than merely anxiety.
  > I'm not ASD just sound and light sensitive do to physical damage. Not a single person has bothered me about this even during conversation.
  I'm glad that you have found a means to manage your difficulties and it does not cause you social issues. Bear in mind that someone who is very ASD is "manually" managing social situations which come automatically to "the rest of us." The same social disapproval you casually dismiss is likely a cause of anxiety for them.
  > my kid has autism and anxiety and she has solutions for these problems.
  I'm glad that she appears to be high functioning. Even those who are might want to avoid the shop because it's just a challenge they would rather avoid today. But for others I can imagine it being all too much.
  
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esseph 2 days ago

You just described my shopping experiences.

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