Comment by thomastjeffery

> What if they say my talking overstimulates them and I must write everything down.

The goal is to resolve the problem, not to bow to every person's whim. How many accommodations are they making for you that you are unaware of?

You can't be responsible to manage a person's disorder. You can, however, actively try to help. The most important distinction here is how you frame your participation.

One of the best ways to help is to explicitly say that you want to help and compromise, but have clear boundaries you are unwilling to cross. The default assumption, that you are unwilling to help simply because you find it inconvenient to do so, is usually accurate. It takes effort to disprove that assumption, but that proof can relieve a lot of stress.

What you have done in the comment I responded to, has had quite the opposite effect. I understand it wasn't likely your intention, but your communication implied that you are generally unwilling to make an accommodation until you personally believe it is necessary. That implication is an insurmountable boundary that every ADHD/ASD person is intimately familiar with. You are the only one in a position to move that boundary.