Comment by ActorNightly

Comment by ActorNightly 2 days ago

If you feel like this, you may be on the spectrum (not an insult btw).

Masking for neuro typical people is very easy, even if emotionally draining. My wife is the perfect example - her personality is to be nice to everyone and to connect with people. A lot of times this leads to prolonged conversations with people, which then she complains about, but its basically like saying you are tired after going on a long bike ride - there is some enjoyment in the activity.

Whereas for neuro-spicy people, masking is the equivalent of spilling seeds on the floor and having to pick up each one with tweezers to put them back. Its both exhausting and not enjoyable.

gffrd 2 days ago

No, parent is right: everybody "masks" at work. Call it putting on a persona, playing a role, whatever - but as you said, it's less effortful for some than others.

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ActorNightly 2 days ago

I wouldn't even say its less effort. Its a whole different kind of effort. A social neurotypical person willingly engages in interactions and "masks". A person on the spectrum only engages because they have to.

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- SchemaLoad 2 days ago
  
  For me masking at work is more boring than it is effort. Most coworkers i've encountered are so plain that the moment you start discussing something personal that isn't the most sanitised hobby ever they get funny. Tell them you spent the weekend at an illegal rave or getting drunk at a furry convention and they start to freak out. It's no effort to not talk about this but it also means there's basically nothing to discuss.
  
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  acureau a day ago
  
  Life's too short for bullshitting. Why not just speak your mind and avoid the people who react that way? I've found that if I sanitize my words I get sanitized responses, and vice versa. Nobody is as boring as they seem.
  
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lxgr 2 days ago

Everybody has a social battery, but while some are working with a USB PD 240W monster you can't take on an airplane, others have to get by with an iPhone Air (and they can't disable background refresh).

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Dylan16807 2 days ago

While I understand your point, the air has a very good battery life and beats the 16 and 16 pro.
If you recharge at night, that's a lot of socializing.

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- [removed] 2 days ago
  
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Glyptodon 2 days ago

It's true that different people require different amounts of effort to do and approach it with different tactics, but fundamentally almost nobody streams their inner monologue straight out of their lips, and I think when it does happen is actually much more associated with TBI and inhibition disregulation than ASD. (Which is not to say that it doesn't require a different approach or more effort for those with ASD.)