Comment by grayhatter

Comment by grayhatter 2 days ago

I have asthma. The last time I had an asthma attack that was severe enough that it could have become fatal was when I was 8 at my friend's house with a few cats(*).

But, everyone gets short of breath some times. Everyone wakes up with the feeling of a congested chest occasionally. Everybody is limited in the exercises they can do by their lung capacity and exercise tolerance.

But because after working very diligently, by your logic, I don't have asthma. Because I can run, and rock climb, and do all the life stuff that I wanna do.

Except that logic is fucking stupid! Because when I got covid a few years back, I was using my rescue inhaler constantly because I could feel my lungs starting to close up, felt just like the asthma attacks I would get when I was younger. But because I learned to use the techniques and habits I built up when growing up, and I made sure it never progressed far enough towards an attack that needed medical intervention. I don't have asthma, right? I should have thrown away my inhaler years ago because I was never using it?

The culture of treating mental health by different rules, from outwardly physical health, is fucking stupid, and I can't wait for that meme to die!

And it's especially egregious when people use that meme to then weaponize it to exclude people from the groups with shared experiences, weaknesses, skills, and needs.

If you really feel the need to be exclusive, and tell other people that their experience is invalid, and demand that they preform their rock bottom for you, before you'll believe them. Might I suggest instead of telling other people that the way they describe their life is wrong, instead try adding the prefix subclinical. As in my asthma (through work and effort), is subclinical.

E.g. instead of being an asshole who says "that doesn't count as austism" you can say "most people who claim to be autistic are lucky subclinical". Then you still get to invalidate the experiences of others, But you do so in a way that's slightly less hostile and gaslighting.

(*): Does the time I was sick count as an attack? Had I ignored those symptoms, would it have gotten worse, would I have needed to visit the hospital? Would you still try to tell me that this is different because I was also sick, so everything else doesn't matter?

entropicdrifter 2 days ago

Fellow asthmatic here:

>I should have thrown away my inhaler years ago because I was never using it?

Inhalers expire after a year, so yes, you should have, and you should have gotten a new one. I only learned this after getting a fresh one at the start of COVID because I hadn't had one in several years. Pretty sure growing up I had the same inhaler for like 8 years, so obviously it still works OK after a year, just relaying what my doctor told me 5 years ago.

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grayhatter 2 days ago

This is good advice!
Thankfully the expiration on mine was still good when I needed it. I try to keep mine refreshed every few years or so. It kinda feels bad throwing a barely used one away, but I never regret that when I actually pull it out to use it

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slibhb 2 days ago

> And it's especially egregious when people use that meme to then weaponize it to exclude people from the groups with shared experiences, weaknesses, skills, and needs.

> If you really feel the need to be exclusive, and tell other people that their experience is invalid, and demand that they preform their rock bottom for you, before you'll believe them. Might I suggest instead of telling other people that the way they describe their life is wrong, instead try adding the prefix subclinical. As in my asthma (through work and effort), is subclinical.

The fact that people have started applying social-justice-y terminology ("gatekeeping," "weaponize," "shared experiences," etc) to medical diagnosis is a clear sign we've gone too far. "You can't question my diagnosis because it's part of my identity! Stop gatekeeping me!"

Please. "Austism" is not a settled category and it's okay to argue about boundaries. The irony here is that autistic as an adjective means "unfeeling" e.g. "He rose and stood tottering in that cold autistic dark with his arms outheld for balance while the vestibular calculations in his skull cranked out their reckonings". When sorting out the definition of autism (and similar conditions), we should be a little more autistic.

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grayhatter 2 days ago

> The fact that people have started applying social-justice-y terminology ("gatekeeping," "weaponize," "shared experiences," etc) to medical diagnosis is a clear sign we've gone too far.
Standing up for people that you see being mistreated, insulted, or disrespected isn't "social-justice-y" it's basic human dignity and compassion.
The way you choose to disagree shows how much respect you have for other people. I don't agree with you is very different from, you're wrong to think that or say that. Every single person should object when they see someone punching down.

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grayhatter 2 days ago

> The fact that people have started applying social-justice-y terminology ("gatekeeping," "weaponize," "shared experiences," etc) to medical diagnosis is a clear sign we've gone too far. "You can't question my diagnosis because it's part of my identity! Stop gatekeeping me!"
But at least you've found a way you can feel superior to both groups right?
It's not social justice, it's just basic fairness. I've never been called weak or out of shape when I couldn't keep up with my friends when running. People are happy to adjust their expectations when I share that I have asthma, so it's harder than it might look. But I have been called lazy because I was unable to start on a task because I didn't have enough dopamine. Tell someone you have ADHD and many will suggest just making a list, or ask, "have you tried eating gluten free?" Before going on to explain they think in's over diagnosed. Please, tell me my asthma is over diagnosed, or my conversation and treatment plan with wy physician is inappropriate?
It's stupid that we blame people for admitting that things are harder than they expect. And telling someone they "don't seem autistic" or "don't look like you have asthma" are equally fucked up, but as a perfect case example, this thread. So many people are gladly willing to minimize and discount someone's description about mental health, but not lung health.
That is all I'm objecting to.
> Please. "Austism" is not a settled category and it's okay to argue about boundaries. The irony here is that autistic as an adjective means "unfeeling" e.g. "He rose and stood tottering in that cold autistic dark with his arms outheld for balance while the vestibular calculations in his skull cranked out their reckonings". When sorting out the definition of autism (and similar conditions), we should be a little more autistic.
There's a bit of room between what I'm suggesting, and what you're replying to. I'm actually thinking we should be a little bit less autistic, because clinging too tightly to the literal written definition of individual words, limits the flexibility required for reasonable communication.
What I said was; it's inappropriate for anyone to tell somebody else that the way that they describe their experience is wrong.
but what I believe you're objecting to is; anybody can be autistic if they want to.
Which is not what I said.
the two phrases "I have very mild case of autism" and " I identify with a lot of the symptomology of autism and find that it's community and its skills and techniques to be very effective and beneficial in my life" should be treated as equivalent phrases. if you tell somebody that they're wrong to say either you are the asshole. You are rejecting their description of their life. You may disagree if they qualify for a medical diagnosis of autism. But unless someone claims that, your just arguing against a straw man that you created. (rhetorical you)

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dns_snek 2 days ago

> it's okay to argue about boundaries
Yes, if you have something to add - something more substantive than just a snotty dismissal of the autistic experience rooted in the superficial observation that everyone occasionally experiences the "same" things.
> The irony here is that autistic as an adjective means "unfeeling"
The real irony here is your insistence that you have something to add to this discussion while leading with a decades-old myth that people with autism don't feel emotions.

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