Comment by macintux
It took me a depressingly long time to figure out that when people (offline) ask me how I am, they don’t expect, or want, an answer.
It took me a depressingly long time to figure out that when people (offline) ask me how I am, they don’t expect, or want, an answer.
I had a coworker who took this to the extreme. When they'd come up to anyone they'd say, without any pauses in-between: "Hi. How are you? So I wanted to tell you x, y, z [...]", not leaving any time to respond, even with the formulatic "I'm fine.". Really driving home that they're just reciting, without caring one bit how you feel.
Pretty overwhelming to me personally, but I could tell other coworkers were taken aback by it too.
The whole "How are you?" ritual is quite possibly the most nonsensical thing about the Anglo cultures. Like, I get that the point is to feign polite interest in the other person. But then by asking this question with the expectation of the same formulaic reply "I'm fine!" (and confusion if the response is something else) - even if the other speaker is emphatically not fine - it literally does the opposite, making it clear that the way they actually feel doesn't matter.