Comment by hombre_fatal

Good point, and it made me think about a more general point about people:

It's often the same underlying trait that gives someone qualities that we like/admire but also the qualities we don't like.

When we evaluate each other, we sometimes have thoughts like "she has <good quality>, but if only she'd work on <bad quality>".

Over the years I finally realized that's not how we work. Our traits aren't always connected to isolated levers that we can pull independently.

The really good sales guy might exaggerate fibs in personal convo. The girl that moved from Germany to Mexico to start a successful hostel also has a hard impulsiveness that's hard to get along with. The really attentive mother is risk-averse to a point of absurdity. All examples of friends off the top of my head. Or me: I can find happiness anywhere that I am (good), but it also means I don't have the drive to rock the boat when I should (bad).

There doesn't necessarily exist the possibility of preserving the good part if you were to fix the bad part since the fix might require changing the underlying trait.