Comment by paulcole
Comment by paulcole 5 days ago
You don’t need to worry that much. Most people turn out pretty OK despite their parents screw-ups and best intentions.
Comment by paulcole 5 days ago
You don’t need to worry that much. Most people turn out pretty OK despite their parents screw-ups and best intentions.
I would've ended up a lot more "fine" if my parents hadn't given up on parental controls almost immediately after I learned to circumvent them. Some of the things they'd have had to tell me would've been embarrassing for all parties involved, but I genuinely believe it would have improved my socialization and overall happiness during critical parts of my development, with ramifications continuing to this day. Instead, they took the opposite approach and praised me as "good with computers" when they failed to impart either voluntary discipline or mandatory access controls on my computer usage.
I do appreciate your overarching message, but I also agree with others that there is a ton to worry about, and I think it can be a disservice to assume things will work out "fine" when they could potentially work out better if parents make different choices. Things "working out fine" is more how to get to sleep at the end of the day when not everything has gone to plan, as opposed to the first line of defense.
> Things "working out fine" is more how to get to sleep at the end of the day when not everything has gone to plan
Yes I agree with this.
I mean look at most people’s lives. Have they all gone to plan? For the most part, no.
Every part of them could be better if they took different actions and made different choices. So what? They didn’t and they didn’t. They’ve got what they’ve got.
Why stress yourself out over what you could have done better when you’ve done good enough?
That is pretty dangerous position to take. “That much” is a very vague line.
It is more true that more kids turn out to be fine when their parents care, than when they don’t.