Comment by tdeck
> but at this point breaking up with them would feel like abandoning them to their situation.
I have no special psychology experience but this feels like a red flag to me. Guilt is not a good foundation for building a lifelong relationship with someone. You deserve a partner that supports your needs as well. There are so many people out there with problems and there are ways you can help people without being their romantic partner if that's what you choose to do.
I appreciate your concern. I recognize it's not a great situation. However I'm not really sure it's helpful to put it in terms of flags. Maybe I'm missing your point.
I'm not really trying to build a relationship out of guilt. I'm already in this relationship (whether romantic or other doesn't really matter).
Also I don't understand this part:
> There are so many people out there with problems and there are ways you can help people without being their romantic partner if that's what you choose to do.
If you allow me to strawman you for a second, you are saying to cut contact with them and instead volunteer with a non-profit organization? I feel like I must have misunderstood you, so please correct me.
For what it's worth, they do support my needs as well. No complaints there. They are actually amazingly considerate and supportive given their situation.