Comment by brodouevencode

> The notion of "carrying one's cross" was more about finding virtue in suffering

Different denominations and even different churches within a denomination will have different views on this[1]. That being said it's obvious your opinion is based on that experience but please know that this isn't the only viewpoint.

So much of church is based in communal relationships. In Acts, Paul makes it very clear that members and even church leaders should live "life together". To not may not necessarily be considered sinful, but it certainly leaves a gap in one's soul - Paul saw this early and gave the warning.

> "bearing one's cross"...it attaches the idea that it's your lot in life to suffer these specific things

> if I do something that I later regret deeply, the church says "you fucked up, and now you must feel bad about it"

> A more reasonable mindset is to use the regret as a signal that change is needed.

Again, I think these are distinctions in opinion based on individual denominations and churches. In the SBC it's often taught the way you desire - acknowledge the mistake by admitting it to yourself and God, and fix it. Even mistakes for which there may be no real victim (other than you) - wipe the slate clean and try again (which is the whole point of Baptism).

[1] Christianity is often seen as one thing but few understand the wide range in opinions, doctrine, canonical interpretations that exists. There are churches that openly support gay marriage and even abortion while others consider it a sin, to pick two hot topics. Scoping things just to Christianity should come with the understanding that even that may not be crystal clear, so I do apologize for not being clear earlier.