pyuser583 4 days ago

I would never have received the career support I did online. I’m so lucky I got into software engineering before remote work was a thing.

As a senior engineer, I benefit from remote work. But it’s sad to see those informal lunches replaced with Zoom “coffee.”

  • beoberha 3 days ago

    This is exactly it. The few years I had in office were an amazing foundation for my career. I see the same in those who started around the same time I did. Most of my team who was hired remotely are struggling.

tsimionescu 3 days ago

The realities of how humans interact. Going for a cup of coffee and asking a colleague to join is a different act than asking a colleague to join you in a Zoom call.

CydeWeys 3 days ago

It just doesn't happen, and chatting over VC isn't the same as meeting people in real life anyway. In the office, I'll randomly bump into people I've known from years back and have small chats, but I never in a million years would have specifically scheduled to do so (sometimes I don't even remember their names, just what they look like!).

  • InDubioProRubio 3 days ago

    The office broadcast conversations can be a mali and boni. Sometimes you get updated by a background conversation- sometimes you get distracted by a conversation. It would be great if you could auto-flag a conversation you have on teams as relevant for others or not - and it would just start playing merged into the music of others remote, one way.

    • CydeWeys 3 days ago

      This wouldn't work for me because I don't listen to anything when I'm working. You're making the assumption that everyone is just constantly listening to music, but I focus best with silence and with my ears unencumbered. I suppose it would be doable with desktop speakers that would only play something when remotely triggered, but then there's the secondary issue that I'm not always at my desk, vs in the office people can obviously see who's there and who's listening in (and easily go grab someone else to join in as necessary). There's just way less friction to conversations when people are in the same room.

TuringNYC 4 days ago

It works to an extent. True bonding comes from being shoulder to shoulder in extreme situations under shared duress.

  • NikolaNovak 4 days ago

    As long as we understand that "true bonding" is preciously close to "no true Scotsman galaxy" :-)

    Let's stop pretending that remote work is new. I've worked remotely on and off from the beginning of my career. Majority of my mentors have been remote, at least two of whom I've never met "on real life" - one of whom shared tremendous technical experience over 18 months we worked together three provinces away, other who has taught me corporate life and consulting skills from four provinces away (I'm in Canada, think states:).

    I've spent four years as ops manager recently on a troubled project and I agree thay extreme situations under shared duress can build a specific, very strong kind of bond (not the only kind, mind you!). It's just that physical presence is completely orthogonal to it.

    I have a hard time believing all this concern is for "young generation and their social and mentoring opportunities". Young generation grew up with remote and social networking infused in their lives (for better or for worse, separate conversation :)! If a senior person doesn't know how to mentor or communicate remote, let's be upfront on that and discuss it openly and coach them. But let's not blame the "juniors" for that :-).

  • JadeNB 4 days ago

    > It works to an extent. True bonding comes from being shoulder to shoulder in extreme situations under shared duress.

    People say this, but "this is the kind of true bonding experiences with which I'm familiar" isn't the same as "this is the only way true bonding can occur." I'm certainly old enough to remember the dismissive scoffing in the '90s that true friendships are made only in person, not with people online.

  • lpcvoid 3 days ago

    Personally, I have been in these situations remotely too (everybody in a call, screen shared, parallel things going on). I don't get why it has to be physical.

  • watwut 3 days ago

    What you are describing is "trauma bonding" - maladaptation of human brain that makes us stay in bad conditions/situations. It is evolutionary adaptation in life and death situation you can not escape, but what you described is not that.

zifpanachr23 3 days ago

Seriously? I mean to a certain extent you are correct that it's just an excuse...

But if you really think there is no difference between these two things then you are living in a fantasy world.

Proximity does a lot to encourage socialization between super senior people and super junior people.

Without proximity, it's much easier for either side to put off or brush off things that would be good mentorship opportunities. You don't have to go into work the next day and see your coworker face to face to explain why you ditched them on that pair coding session or whatever it may have been.