Comment by hughesjj

Hey, also ACE score of 6 (apparently).

It's been a struggle, and I really should have gotten diagnosed with ADHD decades ago rather than years ago. I regret those that I've hurt (especially those that I love) and the times I was my own barrier to success or happiness.

I'm lucky to have a wonderful partner and manager at this stage in my life, and I've put a bunch of work into myself. It's been slow, but more and more of it seems to be "sticky", and that's incredibly encouraging.

Overall, satisfied with my life, especially in context of the world at large or relative to those with a similar background (makes me realize in some ways I'm pretty darn lucky after all).

Still, I feel the need to earn it. I don't feel like I deserve the nice things I do have, and I have a lot of anxiety of it going away. Therapy is currently helping me guide that and allow me to focus on the parts I can control while giving me the serenity to accept that there are things inherently uncontrollable, or even influencable.

Only thing I'd have to say is: never give up trying to get better. You're stuck with yourself for your entire life, one way or another. You owe it to your future, present, and past self to get better, and you owe it to those rays of sunshine that are the people you love or have given kindness, also past present, and future. You can't change the past, so don't dwell on it. Just try to do what you reasonably can. You've survived this long, which shows you're capable of endurance and survival at minimum. Have faith you can keep that, and use that as a rock to build a better life and a better (at least, local) world upon.