Comment by rtaylorgarlock
Comment by rtaylorgarlock 4 days ago
Do you agree with the assessment that having kids can help with handling of some of these growth or lack of development challenges? I've heard that from a few high-ACE score fathers and I appreciate the advice. My wife and I are heading that direction for multiple reasons, including my own personal growth.
ACE of 6, father of 3 under 7. I love fatherhood, but it is easily the most difficult leap of faith I've taken in my life. A majority of my coping mechanisms were based around quiet time to myself and that basically doesn't exist anymore for me.
Children are a deeply personal choice that make basically no sense. They are the ultimate selfless act, and much of the emotional damage children suffer is due to their parents not understanding this. They are exhausting, expensive, and time consuming... until you die. And every time you decide to use them for your own gain, it will cost them something.
To more directly address your point: children will force you to cope with their existence. Whether you have the ability to introspect on yourself during the process can turn that into growth is on you, not them.