Comment by thenaturalist
Comment by thenaturalist 4 days ago
ACE 4, late diagnosed with ADHD at 30 years old (M33).
Had a whole lot of anger about my parents and the world crammed up in me until the diagnosis.
Almost every move until then has been trying to peel back the invisible onion layers of protection I built up as a child and teenager (masking, cynicism, not asking for help or showing emotions).
Being blind to the coping mechanisms which you built up subconsciously but which don't serve you is what annoys me the most about this overall condition.
But it also gives me a sense of agency.
Currently reading "Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness", which I highly recommend.
So overall, I'm not satisfied with my career life as I feel many opportunities were taken away from me through no fault of my own.
I'm very satisfied with my personal life as I have of last year found a woman who I have been able to build a wonderful relationship with.
In all of this mess, I am extremely grateful for ADHD meds every day.
Don't often comment here but I just wanted to say that I feel you. ADHD was crippling for me my whole life and you really do develop a whole host of weird little layers of protection, either against yourself or against how you expect others to treat you. I'm 36 and got prescribed meds last year and it was a profound experience being able to cast off all the rituals and just... function. It is certainly frustrating to consider what one could have accomplished with this ability at, say, the age of 18 instead... but that way lies madness. At least we can build our future.