Comment by mettamage

ACE of 3 after I started living with my grandparents. ACE of 8 if you include the first 2 years of my life.

I am doing mediocre:

Career: bad

Love life: fantastic

The rest: hardcore self-dev mode

I am an insomniac and it’s fucking up my life. The ability to hold down a job because of it is really hard, unless I do intellectually easy work, which programming isn’t for me.

I also had a horrible career start. I had top marks at my university but I didn’t know anything about hiring cycles. So I just chilled for a year and then had a rough time finding a job, took a job I didn’t want for the sake of it and then had a few patches of jobs that I didn’t feel fully okay with, except for my last job but then tech layoffs happened and interviewing became hard.

Some people say I should become a dating coach as opposed to a dev but I have no idea on how to do the marketing and sales for that. I currently feel tech is more sustainable.

It’s funny:

I taught people in 3 month coding bootcamps when I still was a CS student and they are more senior than me.

My friend that studied business doing no programming on the side is nowadays more senior than me.

I paid a career coach $5000 which is a lot on a yearly salary of $35000 (if I have a job), but it’s not helping. It’s probably in part because I am Dutch and he is better in the US market.

I feel it’s a cruel joke. I did all the “moves” to not launch a career at all.

I could use some help but I don’t exactly know what kind of help as my blind spots career-wise are big (otherwise I wouldn’t have overindexed on uni, 2 bachelors and 2 masters). It doesn’t help that I am immigrating to the US at some point (marriage) for my current job search in NL.

I am currently also in therapy in the diagnostic stage. I probably will be diagnosed as autistic (at 33+ of age) but the jury is still out, could also be adhd or both. I sought help for my insomnia.

I currently meditate 2 hours per day since 2 weeks ago. I don’t think I will ever stop that again. I can feel that it helps a lot, especially with executive functioning (prefrontal cortex - doing your tasks) and somewhat for sleep too.