Comment by themacguffinman

> To answer the OP directly, I'm not satisfied with my life, and from my ACE score it's obvious that I have no one else to blame but myself.

This isn’t fair to yourself, or anyone else reading this and feeling the same way.

There’s a difference between good parenting, bad parenting, and abusive parenting. Just because your parents weren’t abusive, doesn’t mean they were good at instilling all the useful and/or important values in you.

Also, there’s a difference between blaming your parents for who you are, blaming yourself for who you are, and accepting that things have happened, learning from them, and using it as the basis for growth.

Consider how old you are today. Consider what age your parents were during your formative years. The closer you get to being the same age your parents were, the easier I think it gets to recognise that your parents might have been much like you are: imperfect beings trying whatever resembled their best on any given day.

Ultimately, try to be kind to be kind to yourself, but also be accountable to yourself. Kind accountability tends to work better than blunt brute harshness (just like you catch more flies with honey…)

If you go here and scroll down to Recent Studies, you'll notice that there's many things the ACE test ignores.

But the extended list of adverse experiences is incomplete too:

https://www.christineortollcharity.org/post/adverse-childhoo...

> I have no one else to blame but myself.

Of course not! That sounds sad. (Also, some things just happen / are the way they are, without being anyone's fault)

But maybe you're the best person for doing something about things you aren't happy with :-)

If Ace 0 is a minority perhaps it's normal for people to experience trauma and this trauma is necessary.

You match me in every element, perhaps this outcome is expected for ACE 0. Or it could be confirmation bias.

Any other people with ACE 0 here? What is your life like?