Spinning the Night Self

After investigating my own sleep patterns and from what I've learned taking, not taking, and then occasionally targetedly taking melatonin. I think the night waking/night creativity could be a late peak of melatonin above some threshold level which causes agitation, heightened feelings, etc. as described in the article.

I also have largely abandoned attempts to "force" myself to sleep after years of insomnia. It results in some tired days, which in turn has resulted in some problems with consuming too much caffeine. But it's largely better for my mental health, I think, to simply get up and find some way to occupy myself until I actually feel tired. The alternative, trying to force myself to sleep when I don't feel tired, with mounting anxiety about getting too little sleep, simply doesn't have any upside.

Evolutionarily, insomnia makes sense in the context of a tribe, where it's useful to have people up and about, watching for danger. But in the modern day with synchronized workplaces, we've seemingly decided that not waking up early verges on a moral failing. "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise," is just the beginning. Showing up late to work is looked down upon, but staying at work late is underappreciated, in my experience. Being on the east coast is a surprising benefit when working with West Coast clients because it creates the impression that I'm getting more done simply because of time zones. There's something deeply ingrained in US culture going on here that I'm not sure I understand the full extent of.