Comment by ljhsiung
Comment by ljhsiung 4 days ago
Hopefully this is not too tangential, but it's something that's been on my mind a bit recently.
When you had kids (or I guess anyone who is considering having kids), did you ever fear of "passing down" your trauma?
I feel that us tech workers, for all intents and purposes, have "made it," which might best position us in general to overcome and prevent a cycle of trauma to the next generation.
Yes. The fear is real, and 100% more tangible when you're holding your child the first few times. Overcome with love, joy and sadness because you cannot comprehend how anyone could treat someone that they love so deeply in a bad way.
I don't think "made it" is the differentiator here. It's more about emotional maturity and acceptance that you're chiefly responsible for another human beings experience of the world: What you put in can set them up, or break them down.
That said, I created some rules for myself:
I'm sure my list will grow. My daughter is 2. I try to live with integrity, honesty and love. What I get out is pure unfettered joy.