Comment by minticecream

Late 30's, ACE 6 (I basically had a sociopathic, druggy, gambling step father who has a talent for making others' lives miserable. My house chores included watering the weed plants).

Although parts of my childhood weren't the best, I actually had many good things in my life growing up as well. My mother and father are very caring people, and I was involved in many extra curricular activities (music, sports etc). I went to university, got a CS degree, Masters and have gone on to have a decent professional career.

It's been emotionally difficult at times. I learnt some years ago that my dad was a functioning meth addict, and I felt a bit like I was leading a double life at times - when I'd go home to visit, and was literally at his then gf's house where she was dealing... my dad would be shining a torch on some rocks, asking me if I could see what he could. I'd then head back to where I was living and get back to my software job. My dad was very sick for a while and was given a few months to live. Luckily he's still around. Another emotional strain are alcohol issues across my family.

As I'm getting older, I'm trying to let go, to be supportive of family members while realizing that I can't control their lives. They have to come to the conclusions they need to, and they need to want to live differently.

I do my best to look after myself (I've always had to do that!), to stay fit and healthy, and to grow personally. I am not my parents, nor am I the surroundings that I grew up in. If I blame them for the bad, I also must blame them for the good, and for the unique perspective they've given me.

One thing that has helped, has to have been around other high performing people - in many different aspects of life (academically, financially, sports, music etc). Martial arts has given me a lot of confidence as well.

Otherwise, I'm usually very much future focused. I try to stay positive, to keep things light-hearted and help others out when I can.