Comment by bradlys

Comment by bradlys 5 days ago

7 replies

7

I’d say the biggest struggle hasn’t been financial independence, overcoming a rough childhood, or getting out of rural hell - it’s been dating. That was set in stone by my genetics being such trash. I’m 34 and only ever had one partner who would only stay with me on the condition that I paid for everything and would receive no emotional support.

By most measures, I am far more successful than most people you’d meet but I consider myself one of the least successful people because all I’ve ever wanted is for someone to love me and to build a loving family. Life is cruel.

askHN2024 5 days ago

I am sorry you’re going through that. I am not in a rural place, but I feel isolated all the same because I mask everything. I feel that if I trust someone enough, I’ll open up to them. I am working up to it.

Be wary of advice which says you need to be good looking to expect reasonable behavior from a partner. I’ve been told I am attractive, but it can sometimes bring the wrong kind of attention that doesn’t really provide emotional support and personal wellbeing.

Looking good can be its own reward, but it’s not a requirement for finding a close relationship, I think.

Take care.

meiraleal 5 days ago

Are you in your top fitness condition? Most of the times, looking good means being in your top health condition, right body weight and % bodyfat below 13% (for men).

  • bradlys 4 days ago

    Yes. I’m facially ugly.

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    • dw_arthur 4 days ago

      Get plastic surgery if your desire to find a partner is this great.

      • bradlys 4 days ago

        I’ve already had it and am planning more. It’s not sufficient. Some of us are born with faces that western doctors cannot figure out how to fix.